A student asks a teacher, "What is love?"
The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the biggest wheat and come back.
But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."
The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big wheat, but he wonders....may be there is a bigger one later.
Then he saw another bigger one... But may be there is an even bigger one waiting for him.
Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he start to realize that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, he know he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted.
So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand.
The teacher told him, "...this is love... You keep looking for a better one, but when later you realize, you have already miss the person...."
"What is marriage then?" the student asked.
The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back.
But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."
The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he has picked one medium corn that he feel satisfy, and come back to the teacher.
The teacher told him, "This time you bring back a corn.... You look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you get.... This is marriage.
A guy asked a girl in a library;
“Do you mind if I sit beside you”?
The girl answered with a loud voice; "I DON’T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!!!"
All the students in the library started staring at the guy and he was embarrassed.
After a couple of minutes,
the girl walked quietly to the guy’s table and she told him “I study psychology and I know what a man is thinking, -
I guess you felt embarrassed, right?”
The guy responded with a loud voice: "$200 JUST FOR ONE NIGHT!? THAT’S TOO MUCH!!!" And all the people in the library looked at the girl in shock and the guy whispered in her ears;
“I study Law and I know how to make someone feel guilty"
One Day, A woman went for shopping, At cash counter she opened her purse to pay.
The cashier noticed a TV remote in her purse.
He could not control his curiosity n asked "Do u always carry ur TV remote with u?"
She replied " No, not always, but my husband refused to accompany me for shopping today..
Due to his stupid match SO...
The story continues.... The shopkeeper smiles and takes back all the items that lady had purchased.
Shocked at this act, she asks the shopkeeper what is he doing.
He said your husband has blocked your credit card..
Husband and Wife - BEFORE MARRIAGE:
Husband – Aaah! …At last! I can hardly wait!
Wife – Do you want me to leave?
Husband – No! Don’t even think about it.
Wife – Do you love me?
Husband – Of course! Always have and always will!
Wife – Have you ever cheated on me?
Husband – No! Why are you even asking?
Wife – Will you kiss me?
Husband – Every chance I get!
Wife – Will you hit me?
Husband – Hell no! Are you crazy?!
Wife – Can I trust you?
Husband – Yes.
Wife – Darling!
Husband and wife – AFTER MARRIAGE: read from bottom to top.
For Example Fight Read Given Below..
Wife hit her husband with frying pan.
Husband: What was that for…?
Wife: I found a paper in your pocket with the name Jenny on it.
Husband: I took part in a race last week and Jenny was the name of my horse.
Wife: Sorry..!
Next day wife hit him with the frying pan again
Husband: What now..?
Wife: Your horse is on the Phone.
A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry.
He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.
The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, purchases new make-up and buys several new outfits, and dresses up very nicely for the man.
She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.
The man is impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts.
She gets him a new set of STRONG golf clubs, some new gizmo’s for his computer, and some expensive clothes.As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.
Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market.
She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account.
She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money.
Guess which lady he choose to marry?
Think like a man . . .
(scroll down for the answer)
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He married the most beautiful one.
Men are Men…. Obviously!!!
A cab driver picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her.
She asks him why he is staring and he replies, "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you."
She answers: "My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that ther
e's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."
"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me." She responds,
"Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2 you must be a Catholic."
The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single and I'm Catholic too!"
The nun says, "OK, pull into the next alley." He does and the nun fulfills his fantasy.
But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying. "My dear child." said the nun, "Why are you crying?"
"Forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied, I must confess, I'm married and a I'm a Baptist."
The nun says, "That's OK, I am on the way to a Halloween party, and my name is Kevin."
Interviewer :Let me check your word Power...
ENGINEER: ok Sir .....
Interviewer : Tell me the opposite of .....good.
Last week was my birthday, My wife didn't wish me, My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work, Even my colleagues did not wish.
As i entered my cabin my secretary said, "Happy birthday Boss!"
I felt special. She asked me for lunch.
After lunch she invited me to her apartment. We went there!
She said,
"You mind if i go into the bedroom for a minute?"
"OK", i said in a sexy mood.
She came out 5 minutes later with a cake & My wife, My parents, My kids, My friends and My colleagues.
All screaming "SURPRISE SURPRISE!"
And,
I was waiting on the sofa, NAAKED! :
